And you know what that means. The great battle between MIke, Alexis and THEIR COSTUMES.
To recap--for those of you fans of the blog, you know that every year, Mike and I fight over what to be for Halloween. Why the fight? Because every year, he wants to be his tried and true PEE WEE HERMAN and I want to pick some sort of pop culture figure that, according to Mike, no one will recognize. Then, every year, I get upset when we go out and everyone yells, "Hey Pee Wee!" and gives me the once over accompanied by a low, "And who are YOU?"
So there you go. So tonight, I got the bright and brilliant idea of being BLAIR WALDORF from Gossip Girl--not on my own, of course, but from the also bright and brilliant idea of one of my seventeen year old students--go figure. ANYWAY, when I came home this afternoon...
ME: "Guess what?! I'm going to be Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl!"
MIKE: "Who's that?"
ME: "Do you live in 1991--How have you never seen Gossip Girl?"
He looks at me as if to say, "Do you think I'm a 17 year old girl or a 34 year old man?"
I'll go with the latter. Needless to say, I'm disappointed. This means that once again, he'll be Pee Wee and I'll be Unrecognizable. Sweet costume.
MIKE: "No one's going to know who you are except, maybe for people who watch the show."
ME: "Oh really, huh? NO ONE? I'll have you know that pretty much everyone watches that show and unless you've NEVER read an US Magazine, you'll definitely know who I am."
He looks at me as if I've come out of some weird Britney Spears Twilight Zone where I believe that everyone lives in a pop culture vortex like....like...I do. Humph.
MIKE: "Well, whatever you decide to be. I am NOT going as one of those guys from the show. I refuse to wear a scarf."
ME: "So should I bust out your grey suit and red bow tie now or have you already had them pressed."
MIKE: "As a matter of fact, I'm not going as Pee Wee this year."
What?! Does this mean he's decided to go as some sort of "pathetically unoriginal skeleton meets zombie meets who cares, if it's not someone famous or funny as far as I'm concerned, why would you dress up as them" costume?
MIKE: "I'm going to be one of the guys from the SNL 'Dick in a Box' sketch."
OMG. That's an amazing idea. F--k. I have the worst costume in the world and he has the funniest most fabulous costume in the world.
ME: "That's amazing."
He's glowing.
MIKE: "I know. Isn't it? Josh and I are doing it together."
ME: "Yeah. That's...that's...really funny..um...geez...well...maybe I could be one of the girls from the Dick in a Box sketch! You know...that kind of 80s girl that Maya Rudolph played in the sketch. Then we could all, like, be the people from the video! That'd be SO funny!"
MIKE: "Yeah...um...no one's going to recognize you like that. I mean...unless you're standing with me all night...it's probably better to go with your Blair whatshername costume or one of the other ones you always do."
ME: "You mean, like, Audrey Hepburn."
MIKE: "Yeah! That's a good one! Everyone knows her!"
ME: "It's just so boring."
MIKE: "It's all about being recognized as far as I'm concerned."
Now I'm feeling competitive.
ME: "Everyone recognized me last year when I was Sarah Palin! Remember?!"
He doesn't.
MIKE: "Yeah...kind of."
Here's where I'm about to throw a tantrum thinking about the fact that for the entire night, I'm going to be running around a party accompanied by a guy with a wrapped box on his crotch while everyone laughs hysterically and gives me a "Who the hell are you?" once over.
ME: "Forget it! I'm going to be Blair Waldorf because it's a f-ing cute costume and it's fun and everyone'll figure it out, OK?!!!!"
MIKE: "Fine."
And with that, I turn on my heel, stomp into my closet, and whip out a little black dress, an old tiara, and a pair of black gloves. Breakfast at Tiffany's here I come.
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