Ah Cupid’s Arrow has struck us once again. Every year, we swear not to make a big deal about Valentine’s Day. We don’t want to go to dinner with all of the “amateurs”—you know them, they drop $70 on a three course prix fixe meal served to them by a bitter server who’s wondering why she’s working on Valentine’s Day when she either doesn’t have a Valentine (and she’s missing her friend’s annual F-k Valentine’s Day party) or why she herself isn’t out at some overpriced mediocre meal with small portions and rude waitstaff. But while it’s true that Valentine’s Day brings out the worst in all/most of us, it’s also the day that we’re required to show our significant others how wonderful they are—which means that we have to be feeling generous, loving, and willing to find the one card camouflaged in a sea of Boynton at the car wash that tells our significant other just how much they mean to us.
So despite how much married people “don’t care” about Valentine’s Day, they care and they make plans, or at least they should, otherwise, there’s a fight a brewin.’ For as much as we “don’t care,” we care and I think that goes for husbands and wives. But the longer you’ve been married, and when you throw a kid or two into the mix, Valentine’s Day goes, well, I’ll start the story with an anecdote that Mike shared with me that I think says it all…
A man wants to surprise his wife on Valentine’s Day, so he has their house cleaned by a professional maid service. When the wife arrives home to her clean house, her husband is expecting an ecstatic reaction, but instead of being happy, the wife is upset that a bunch of strangers were in her messy house.
We just can’t have it all, can we? We want the romance but without the hassle, we want the flowers but we’ll kill our husbands if they get suckered into Valentine’s Day markups…
My sister in law and her husband did the smart thing. They went to dinner the night before Valentine’s Day, but even they weren’t out of the Valentine’s Day doghouse just yet because a pesky thing called marriage got in the way…
Joey: “I have an idea…”
Jenna: “What?”
Joey: “I think that you should get the chicken parmesan and I’ll get the steak and we can share.”
Jenna: “But I want the shrimp parmesan. That’s what I go to Dan Tana’s for.”
Joey: “Are you sure? Because here’s the thing, if you don’t finish the shrimp parmesan, then it doesn’t really keep, you know? No one wants to eat leftover shrimp parmesan.”
Jenna: “No Joe, someone definitely wants to eat that shrimp parmesan. It’s not going to go to waste, believe me.”
Joey: “You sure you don’t want the chicken?”
Jenna: “I’m sure.”
And after arguing back and forth for the entire car ride to the restaurant, Jenna got exactly what she wanted (as all women tend to do on Valentine’s Day—and even the day before) and Joey got half of what he wanted (a sacrifice that most men have to make if they know what’s good for them).
But they weren’t the only ones…our Valentine’s Day also had marriage written all over it.
While shopping at my sister in law’s jewelry studio, I spotted a necklace that I wanted. Luckily, Mike was with me.
ME: “Babe, this is what I want for Valentine’s Day.”
Mike: “Great, how much is it?”
Jenna: “Alexis, I owe you money for the Toys R Us run you did the other day and Mike, I owe you money for the flowers you bought grandma from us, so…let’s just call it even.”
So, I unhooked the necklace from the display and wore it out of the store. Ah the romance.
And despite six years of marriage, and ten Valentine’s Days with Mike, you’d think I’d know better but there I was, standing in Trader Joe’s on Valentine’s Day with the realization that I didn’t have a card for my husband. I was having lunch with him in 30 minutes and I had nothing. Nothing. So I ran into the flower shop down the street from our house desperate to find something…and as I made my way through the throngs of twenty-somethings and older men buying flowers for – probably not their wives--and delivery people, I spotted the perfect card. I threw down $6.50 for it (gulp) and made my escape. I guess it’s refreshing to think that after all this time (and a baby), I can still be an amateur.
Hey Alexis,
It's me, Esther Na, from Marlborough. I have been loving this blog for a while but now even more so, as I am pregnant! Tell it how it is sister! Hope all is well with you and your family and thanks for the giggles... Esther
Posted by: Esther | March 25, 2012 at 01:24 PM